I am fascinated with girls who have flappy vaginas. Probably because I’m fascinated with all vaginas, and from my experience more meat doesn’t mean less tight.
For the longest time all I wanted was a coinslot pussy, you know just a slit. The kind you think rarely exists in the adult world because Playboy Photoshops labia. But as life progressed, I realized those only happen on chubby girls and that the perfect pussy that looks like a line waiting for you to walk with your tongue to find the clit are rare.
In fact, the best pussies out there have some lip and clit. Those are the ones that cum easier, that are more fun to suck on, and that feel better as a wristwatch or mitten. But for some reason, girls are insecure about the shit. Maybe because there is surgery to correct the shit, even though there’s nothing to correct.
So here’s Vanessa Hudgens shoving her labia into a pair of shorts and I like it. Save the meatless pussies for the faggots.
There’s really not much to say here. It’s fitness expert and camera whore Jennifer Nicole Lee showing off her tight bod at the beach. Enjoy, pervs!
It turns out that perpetually fat and single and depressing Jennifer Love Hewitt has decided to re-invent herself in a way I can appreciate, get behind, celebrate, congratulate, etc. She’s found her lost sex appeal…and that’s fucking amazing!
She is no longer some fat cunt who would only let the camera guy shoot her from certain angles to avoid her belly that caught up with her tits when her metabolism slowed down and her career slowed down and her sex life slowed down.
Remember she was engaged at some point, and that’s what ruined her. It stole her soul. And without her soul, everything else came crashing down. It was her lowest point, for her mirror, her fans, her boyfriends that followed, her pants and her shoe heels because she was at her fattest—medicating her sadness with food and failed relationships.
There comes a time in every girl’s life when she feels the need to be married, to start a family—like real pressure from her uterus, despite what her rational brain thinks, and that leads to drinking, obesity, whatever the fuck people do before throwing their lives away.
But let Jennifer Love Hewitt be a lesson to all of you. Your uterus can wait. Drop the deadweight losers in your life. And drop the deadweight in your belly, strip off your clothes and tell the world you’re ready to fuck shit up the way you know how, because we’re all here cheering you on.
This is inspirational work and I want to titty fuck her. You’re never too old to give life a second try. Don’t pull the “JESSICA SIMPSON NUDE IN ELLE WHILE PREGNANT BECAUSE PREGNANCY JUSTIFIES HER OBESITY” comeback. That baby shit’s way more of a headache, especially with some jackass you’re just using for sperm who you have to deal with the rest of your life.
Pregnancies along with menstrual periods are the shittiest parts of being a girl. Not sure why they’d want to strip it down and put it on display, like some kind of circus freak. You know, like an elephant in captivity about to birth. But on the flipside, Jessica Simpson’s milk-filled tits look great as she holds it up ready and equipped to feed a nation. It always goes back to the power of nudity making gross things so compelling to look at and masturbate to.
I love this pic of the dude kissing his lottery ticket. He’s like, “I’ll jump on the grenade because the grenade makes millions.” And who can blame him for the K-Fed move? When your dick is in gold and you wanna keep it in gold, you cum inside the bitch. Easy.
I don’t know who this Julia Faria bitch is or how old she is. But I do know she’s got a great ass, and more importantly, a modeling contract, which is a mandatory requirement to hang out with me…and by modeling contract I mean vagina, because even the meaty ones with little dick clits and piss flaps you can wear as a gas mask are still hot as fuck. If anything, even hotter to fuck because they look like rotting deli meat sandwiches…or mangled-up murder victims...or alien creatures from under the sea…or thick, fleshy Christmas tree decorations hanging on the branches and over the gifts, all bottled up into a pinkish, brown, warm an lubricated place to stick my dick.
Anyhoo, this Julia Faria bitch is a bikini model, she’s from Brazil and I think I may love her. Enjoy, pervs!
My next wife, the one I end up getting pregnant and having a family with after this site makes me a billion dollars because it becomes a cult classic and eventually becomes a mainstream hit, is gonna be a model.
See, up until this point, life’s been pretty shit. Women have been shit, the ex-wife has been shit, and after eating the shit for this long, I feel I deserve to be with a model with great tits.
The reason I like models is simple: they are cool, hot and secure in their looks. Because people pay them for their looks, allowing them to focus on what is important, which is having fun, and living a life of luxury with no fucking stress because they have the easiest fucking jobs in the world.
Her name is Ioanna Ntenti. She’s from Greece and thus has two vaginas: one in her asshole and the other where traditional non-Greek penises go. She’s topless for Tank magazine and I’m liking it, so much so that I can practically smell the shit on my dick. But that could be totally unrelated to these pics, if you know what I mean.
Nerds, virgins, the socially awkward who can’t get pussy to notice them…they all love Kate Beckinsale.
I see her appeal. I just don’t know why her tight mom body became the poster body for masturbating weirdoes who like vampires. You see, I know this because the one virgin, socially awkward weirdo loser nerd I was actually friends with was so into this bitch he had a cardboard cut-out of her…that I’m sure he’d have dinner with when no one was around.
You see, loneliness makes you do some fucked-up shit. And being a virgin loser nerd makes that shit really fucking weird. When I get lonely, I just text past lovers pics of my testicles. Maybe that’s because I like real relationships with real people and not rubbing my cock against things made of cardboard that represent a real woman they’ll never meet.
Anyhoo, here’s Kate posing for some magazine. Enjoy, pervs!
